Friday, August 21, 2009

Mom, can we talk?

"Mom, can we talk" is Sadie's latest catch phrase...she uses this phrase several times a day for various reasons. But basically what it means is she wants my undivided attention and she doesn't want her brother or sister to hear what she's about to say.

A few nights ago we were laying in bed snuggling. Madison was fast asleep and the room was pitch black and Sadie said to me "Mom, can we talk."

I said "sure honey what's up".

And this is the conversation that followed:

Sadie: I wonder how old she is mommy.
Me: who honey
Sadie: the lady whose tummy I was in
Me: I think she's about 32. If I remember correctly she was 25 when you were born and your 7 now so she'd be about 32.
Sadie: I think she's dead by now.
Me: (silent gasp) Oh honey, I don't think so. Why do you think that?
Sadie: Well how old are you when you die?
Me: Most people are older when they die - like 80 or 90, sometimes even 100.
Sadie: Oh, do kids like me die
Me: (another silent gasp) sometimes honey children do die and its very very sad for the mommy and daddy. But when that happens there is a reason. It means God needed that child in heaven. Sometimes we never know why until we get to heaven but we trust God anyway.
Sadie: do babies who are in tummies die mommy.

*I have to pause this story for a moment and say I was in NO way prepared to have THIS discussion with my 7 year old. I was praising God that the room was pitch black (so she could not see the tears streaming down my face) and I was pleading with Him to give me the appropriate answers to her very deep questions.

Me: Sadie, honey, do you know why adoption is so special and important to daddy and me?
Sadie: yes mommy because you have me, Ethan and Madison
Me: Yes. But its also important to us because when you were in that ladies tummy she had a choice. When she went to the doctor and he told her she had a baby in her tummy. She chose to say, I want to have this baby and even though I will not raise her and she will not call me mom I want her to have a full happy life. You see honey, she could have told the doctor, I am not ready to have a baby, and then you would not have been born. But she didn't do that. She chose to let you live a full happy life. And we are SO thankful for her and her decision to give you up for adoption.
Sadie: (wraps her arms tight around my neck and says) me too mommy.

*As I held Sadie tight I continued to cry silently and praise God that this was going better than I imagined for having no premeditated plan of this conversation ~ to my surprise though this conversation was NOT over!

Sadie: (slowly lets go of my neck and says) I don't know why anybody wouldn't want a baby to be born and live a happy life.
Me: Me either honey. That is why we need to pray for those children and that is why we need to pray for the lady who chose to give you life. She is a very special lady and I hope one we can meet her and thank her. Even if its in heaven.
Sadie: Let's pray right now mommy
Me: ok
Sadie: Dear Jesus, thank you for the lady whose tummy I was in. Thank you that she let me live with my mommy and daddy and have a happy life. I hope she knows you Jesus so I can meet her in heaven and say thank you. Jesus please be with all the babies who are in the tummies. Please save them. Amen.

*All I can say is WOW! She is wise beyond her years. Even at the precious age of 7 she instinctively values LIFE! She realizes (with out ever hearing the debates) that life ~even in the tummy~ is LIFE!

And I am blessed. Blessed beyond words. 3 women whom I may never get to personally thank are responsible for my amazing life ~ because they chose life!!


Heidi Reed said...

you did great!

now tell me how to explain to jeremy that there are not 3 gods... only 1 god with three persons... he is so confused and i can't break it down to a 3 year old's level of understanding.. ;)


Jen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jen said...

Hey Girl,

Thanks for you comment and encouragement! These conversations can be SOOO tricky!

Have you the anology about the egg? There is just one egg but it has 3 parts (the shell, the yolk and the egg white). Maybe that will help him get the 3 in 1 concept or the trinity.

stephanie garcia said...

What an amazing conversation with your daughter ... I love moments like this!